Faces and words

Sohini's vocabulary is growing at an amazing rate, with multiple words new words added it seems, every day. What is even more amazing is her ability to read our expressions, the tone in our voices and even the subtlest gesture so well. It got me wondering about the innate human ability to respond to another human face. Well before infants even understand the concept of language, they know that a smile is usually returned with a smile, a frown means something is not right, and babies, just like dogs, can practically smell fear! By the grand old age of one, they know which expression or tone of voice means someone will cave in if they persist just a little longer, and which one means the other person is standing their ground.
This ability to read expressions and body language is amazing not only because it seems to be present innately almost from birth, but also because it highlights the challenges and joys of human communication throughout our lives. How may times has one heard a person we know well speak, but gotten the sense that what they are feeling is exactly the opposite of the content of their words? Since verbal language is a learned skill, it is much easier to manipulate and control. Body language on the other hand, occurs and is perceived at such an unconscious level most of the time, that one is aware of only the final impression and not the process of how it happens. Which begs the question, how does you use body language as an effective communication tool in professional and personal relationships when one usually is not even conscious of it?
I think the importance of this is missed in all the "educational/ developmental" books, toys and CDs that teach kids language skills. Most only emphasize the formal ABCD, basic descriptive words, and occasionally rhyme and poetry. What I wish is that they would show kids how different facial expressions send different messages. And not just the cartoon character type expressions but subtler emotions like contentment, disappointment, confusion and so on. I think this would help them recognize on a more conscious level what their face and those of others are communicating to the whole world. Same goes for tone of voice, and body postures (for instance leaning toward someone to imply closeness, and away to create distance).
It would also be important to show children how their thoughts are almost inevitably reflected on their faces and picked up by others around them. You may learn to lie with your words but it would take specialized counter-intelligence training to master lying with the rest of your body. This makes teaching the value of sincerity and integrity more logical and beneficial to healthy interpersonal communication. If your thoughts and body language are inexorably intertwined, then it makes it easier to understand why emotions like love, respect, compassion and empathy cannot be faked. Conversely, it also makes us recognize how we make someone else feel when are experiencing anger, contempt or disgust. This not only allows for better communication, but also for more self awareness. Call it a form of emotional intelligence training. I think it offers a much more effective way to help children understand the world around them, and give them useful interpersonal tools for an entire lifetime.

An accidental masterpiece

So here I was stuck with an extra half a box of cooked lasagna noodles, what to do. Somebody online suggests cutting them up into fat fettucine noodles. What the hell, I give it a shot and end up with uneven, "interestingly shaped" pasta. At least the sauce needs to be worth the effort now. So I sizzle some garlic in olive oil, saute cremini and reconstituted chantarelle mushrooms, deglaze the pan with the mushroom stock and red wine, and top off with some marinara sauce and parmesan cheese.
Add the "fettucine noodles" and, my what an amazing dish, if I might say so myself. Smoky, and creamy, with all those intangible flavors of the bordeaux (thank you Zagat wine club!) adding intrigue to the overall taste. A mushroom lover's dream. Sometimes a five star meal is an accidental surplus of pasta away!

Chili chili chili

We went to the Koloa Farmer's Market today where a guy with a whistle and a long welcome in Hawaiian announced the beginning of the market aka food fight, and the huge crowd of tourists and locals waiting under trees raced to sample and buy the wares. Under the hot Kauai sun, local farmers sold an astonishing array of exotic fruits and vegetables. We sampled Acelia cherries, fresh coconut water and some funny kind of green beans. We bought starfruit, dragonfruit, mountain apples, lychees, custard apples, tropical tangerines, mangoes of 3 different types, tree tomatoes (taste like mix between guavas and passionfruit) and papayas ($1 for 4!). We also bought the freshest eggplant ever, baby bok choy, buckwheat sprouts, a giant avocado, bunches of mint and basil and these miniature red and orange chili peppers which the lady selling them assured me were relatively mild. I even got a macadamia nut for free. All in all, a true vegetarian's paradise!
For dinner, I whipped up a stir fry of the eggplant, bok choy and water chestnuts with mint and basil in oil flavored with garlic and about 10 of the miniature red peppers. The result is the hottest, most interesting Asian fusion dish I have ever tasted. While Hemanth and I cried and sweated our way through the rice and veggie combo, we exclaimed how good food picked that day itself tasted. Perfect for building an appetite for a fruit breakfast and hike on the North Shore tomorrow!

The Obesity Epidemic- An Alternative Take on Why Americans Can't Eat Healthier

An argument that I have seen made time and again when it comes to eating a more sustainable and healthier diet in America is that Americans cannot give up their meat. This is always backed up by the statistic that only 2-3% of Americans are vegetarian and the numbers have remained steady over decades. To someone who grew up on an Indian vegetarian diet and who loves food, this statistic is not surprising. I mean, just take a long hard look at American mainstream cuisine. It is geared for meat eaters and meat eaters alone. Extra validation for this carnivorous tendency is provided by cheap (albeit often poor quality) and easy availability of meat sources, as well as the human body's inability to reject unhealthy choices. When all someone knows growing up is bacon, burgers, meatloaf and steaks, it is hard to expect that individual, as an adult, to suddenly develop a love of lettuce and whole grains.
But what these "pro organic food" articles never ever suggest as a solution is to not just encourage people to eat less meat, but to teach them an entire new way to make and serve food for their families. You cannot take away certain food staples without coming up with equally appealing and convenient finished dishes with alternative (aka healthier and sustainable) food ingredients! Your taste buds will only allow you to eat "vegan" food only so long before they resort back to the comfort zone of "fried chicken."
The reason certain cultures in the world have vegetarians as the majority in their population or other cultures where meat is only eaten for special occasions is not simply scarcity or lack of resources. It is because these cultures, have over centuries, developed intricate, complex and versatile cuisines that use ingredients such as lentils, soy, rice, wheat, vegetables and dairy, just to name a few, as the key components with generous use of natural spices and condiments. It is not hard to be a vegetarian when you can come up with a thousand different permutations for a vegetarian dish on an everyday basis, and not even mention the word salad! If you want the cattle factories to go away, take away the demand for their products and replace it with more wholesome and tasty choices.
The food revolution in this country should not simply include food elitists or environmental activists, but also creative food innovators who can make these ancient vegetable and grain based cuisines more accessible to an American audience. Teach the next generation a new way to eat, not just preach about what not to eat.

The Pearl

Closed so tight
vice like fist
what is the fear?
The pearl is slipping
open your hand my dear.
Surrender, fall into the abyss
let go of all that baggage
travel light and well
through this incredible journey.
All that you want
is there in your palm
pause and smile
at the smallness
and vastness
of it all.
All that you fear
is there as well
the fates wrote it long ago
when you were not looking
then they gave you the
power to choose the paths you take
but forgot to give you the map to
peace and happiness!
All that happened
all that will happen
taught you just the lesson
you needed the most.
did you learn?
or did you close your heart
to block out the hurt?
Unclasp, unclench, unfurl
let all the victories
and the failures
flow out through your fingers.
They were not yours to keep
only to savor for but a moment
you held on too long
and now the sheen
has dulled
and the fragrance
is stale.
Let the wind refresh
and the sun shine brightly
at all the cuts you
dug into yourself
to finally let them heal.

The greatest love of my life

Those softer than velvet locks

that fall down your forehead

Those mile long lashes resting

on that peaches and cream cheek

Those wondrous brown eyes 

filled with innocent glee

Those tiny rose bud lips

that stretch into lopsided yawns

Those sharp fuzzy ears

that seek gentle melodies

Those perfect five fingers 

curled tightly against mine

Those sweet ticklish toes

that bring a smile to your face

That beautiful strong spirit 

that makes my day everyday

I thought I knew what love is

but I have never fallen so hard before!

Sleepless in San Diego

Why do the weirdest thoughts always come to the fore in the middle of the night when you just can't fall asleep? Was up to feed Sohini an hour and half ago, now with tired eyes and overactive mind, bummer! Thinking about what's important to me, then realize I take myself way too seriously. 

Life should be fun, then why do most of us end up complicating it so much that our expectations get in the way of enjoying the moment and all our blessings? The world's a big illusion anyway - so enjoy the show, savor the beauty, laugh at the ironies and brush aside the limitations of the human condition!

New Beginnings

It's been an incredible life changing year for us. With the arrival of Sohini, our beautiful new daughter, our lives have expanded and contracted at the same time.  I get to view the world through her fresh innocent curious eyes. It is an amazing feeling to rediscover the wonder in every little thing in the world! On the other hand, the last few weeks have revolved around our little home, and the changing dynamics in it with the arrival of this precious little being. I cannot remember any other time in my life where I got to stay home for so long or when I was every happier doing so! They say having children changes your perspective on life, but I never quite got exactly how that happens until now. This little wriggling bundle of muscle and nerves is our little miracle, and I will be forever grateful to have had the beautiful experience of bringing her into this world. You are now an arrow released from the bow, my little one- may your path be a long, happy, and prosperous one!

I am also nearing the end of a long stretch of medical training. I feel excited about starting work in the real word, but the again, the uncertainty of uncharted territory is a little nerve wracking. What this year has helped me learn is that what I cannot control, I need to surrender to the Universe and it all works out in the end. I look forward to the new adventures the coming year will bring.