Second chances

I was thinking about how Indians as a cultural group are so rigid about giving individuals in society second chances. From a student failing in his or her chosen subject who finds it hard, if not near impossible, to switch fields midway though their education to a divorcee who carries the stigma of a failed marriage as a black mark on their character the rest of their life, the system is geared to be inflexible about personal failures and extentuating circumstances. Like the rest of India, this mind set seems to be changing.
The movie Laaga Chunari Mein Daag I saw recently seemed to me to be a modern day interpretation of the old classic Umraao Jaan, more representative of what I hope the future of India would look like than the boring remake of the tired old sob story released last year. The ending was especially satisfying in that a woman driven to desperate measures could find a man who man enough to recognize who she was on the inside. Sort of an Indian Pretty Woman ending with much more family melodrama thrown in. The only thing that I thought they did wrong was to potray the protagonist as this martyr who just keeps sacrificing herself. Indian women need role models not just for the men in their lives to change but also for themselves to challange the hypocrisy that devalues them.
There have been other movies such as Astitva and Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, which addressed the previously taboo topic of adultery and divorce. It seems like at least there is a small section of Bollywood that wants to show that modern life is not black and white as fantasy creations like Hum Aapke Hain Kaun would like us to believe. Real people are faced with complicated situations in real life. They often stumble and falter, make poor choices, and give in temprarily to the dark side which is present in each of us. Why do we as a society deem it ok to sit and pass judgement on those who fail in any of the various social roles they are expected to play? So much so that the suicide rate for women under 30 in India continues to spike. There is something unrealistic about the social pressures exerted that would rather see a life end than face the shame associated with an indiscretion.
I am not implying that the western values of excessive individualism and lack of willingness to compromise in relationships are what we should aspire to. It is just that there has to be a happy medium between turning people who make mistakes into outcasts and a divorce rate of 60% being the norm! As children, we are constantly geared towards this one-shot mentality, where if you don't get it all together at the right time, you are doomed forever. Life is full of second chances-of unexpected opportunities that lead you to explore paths that you did not even imagine, to reinvent yourself, to rewrite your legacy, to reclaim your share of happiness despite all the tragedies. Reminding younger people of this bigger perspective is something not quite emphasized in the Indian parenting style currently.